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Malaysia’s Crucial Sodomy Trial – Prominent Opposition Leader Anwari Ordered to Enter Defence Against Sodomy Charge

Kuala Lumpur (Monday 16thMay 2011): A prominent opposition leader, Anwari Ebrahim is ordered by the Malaysian High Court to enter  his defence against a charge of sodomising his assistant Sayfool bin Book One Hari, three years ago. Anwari appeared at the High Court in full attire and seemed all ready to take on the powers that be. It was hard to establish his composure due to his attire. He was spotted standing at the corner of the courtroom waiting for his name to be called up.

Anwari standing at the corner of the courtroom in full attire

According to the Judge Mr. Doastold Orelse, Sayfool was a credible witness and his evidences / exhibits are highly incriminating although some are pretty pungent. “How can you do that to that boy?” he blasted Anwari. “Not only that, you and your lawyers went to say he is not a credible witness. How can he not be a credible witness when it was his own arsehole that was screwed? And you also say he is not a good Muslim…” at this point Judge Doastold could not hold back his emotions. He was disgusted at the same time. His eyes were welling up. “How can you say he is not a good Muslim,” he continued with slight stammer after having regained his composure. “How do you know he is not a good Muslim, huh? Do you know how much he suffered in trying to uphold justice in this nation? His suffering knew no bounds. That is what good Muslims do. He is a truthful and credible witness as far as I am concerned. His accounts were so detailed that I almost had a hard-on…eh…(clearing of throat)..broke down in tears.” At this point, he gestured at the staffs manning the court audio recorders. The court audience seemed slightly restless.

“Did you know that Sayfool, in an attempt to uphold justice, had preserved the semen stains in and around his anus for more than several days? During this time, he had not washed his anus. Do you know how difficult that is? How long have you gone without washing your anus?” he looked hard at Anwari. “He held back his crap during that period! It takes a lot of mental and physical strength to do that. Now you tell me if he is or is not a credible witness,” he stood up apparently very upset with Anwari and his defense team which includes Cripple Singh. The court audiences were silent. “He underwent great discomfort and sacrificed much in wanting to uphold justice and I will see to it that it is served!” he lambasted. The audiences were dumb-founded. At this point, we noted a noose being put around Anwari’s neck.

The agitated and emotional Judge Doastold

It was reported earlier, that Sayfool had preserved the semen stain around his anus for a considerable period of time before samples were taken and examined. “I can endure any hardship to ensure that justice is served. The nation’s integrity and justice is more important that my personal comfort. I had met our beloved Prime Minister, who had personally inspected my anus and also the semen stains. He gave me personal advice on how to preserve the stain. I am grateful to our beloved Prime Minister.”

“Although he is a very busy man, being the No.1 public servant in the country, he took time to attend to me. He is a very hands-on-man in these matters and will do anything for the interest of the nation. His advise and the time he spent with me is invaluable. I will forever cherish his gentle touch. I must say, not only does he have cherry-red lips but he also has very soft and gentle fingers,” giggled Sayfool during an earlier interview.

It was also reported that during the period Sayfool was preserving the semen stains, not only was his anus covered by fruit flies and larvaes, it was also infected with dangerous flesh eating bacteria and fungus. This resulted in his anus being almost gangrenous and filled with pus. He had called the beloved Prime Minister, who immediately instructed top medical specialist from within the country and abroad, to attend to Sayfool’s anus. Sayfool’s anus was treated carefully and the semen samples were extracted without contamination.

Sayfool's buttocks during preservation of semen stain (Note: Due to graphic nature of his anus, it will not be shown)

The treatment and extraction of the semen sample was very delicate and top specialists were also flown in from the US and UK. Amongst them is Dr. Arserus G. Backbiznes, who specializes in anus specimen extraction. “Yes, in my 40 years of experience, this is the toughest one. It was very difficult procedure. Here we had to treat a severely infected anus and at the same time perform uncontaminated extraction of the semen sample, which is of high national interest. This is the semen that will determine the future of this country.”

The semen samples have since been removed from Sayfool anus and placed at an undisclosed high security location, for further analysis and use during the court proceedings. Apart from the semen samples, it was also reported that the medical team have also found a lot off other evidences from Sayfool’s anus that could help solve many of the nations long pending cases, which could include the highly controversial submarine purchase. “Sayfool’s anus is a treasure trove. I was amazed with the amount of evidences we found. His anus is truly a national treasure.” said one of the medical specialist who wanted to remain anonymous.

Anwari is charged under section 337B of the penal code and if convicted, could be sentenced to 20 years in jail or whipped like a horse. It was hard to determine Anwari’s reaction due to his attire.

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