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Life is filled with humor. Enjoy it

Brazilian Native Chief and His Bike

A priest was about to finish his tour of duty and was leaving his mission in the darkest, most remote part of Brazil where he has spent years teaching the natives right from wrong. Just then he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, ‘This is a tree.’

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, ‘Tree.’

The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, ‘This is a rock.’

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, ‘Rock.’

The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, they see a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The priest is really flustered and quickly responds, ‘Man riding a bike.’

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills the man.

The priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill the man in cold blood that way?

The chief replies, ‘My bike!!’

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Filed under: Jokes, , ,

Father and Mothers’ Definition of Pussy and Bitch

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. “Mom”, the boy asks, “What’s a pussy?” 

The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says “Son, that is a pussy.” the son then asks “What’s a bitch?” The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says “Son, this is a bitch.” 

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television.

The son walks up to his father and says “Dad, what’s a pussy?”

The father doesn’t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says “Son, this is a pussy!” 

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks “Then, what is a bitch?” 

The dad replies, “That’s everything outside the circle!”

Filed under: Jokes, ,

The European Commission Announces Agreement To Use English As the Official Language Of The European Union Rather Than German

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’ .

In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Filed under: Jokes

Life makes me laugh

Life is full of fun and humor. Take it with a laugh

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